Theresa’s Story...
I was raised as a Messianic Jew, in St. Louis, Missouri. My mom was Catholic, my Dad was Jewish, and we went to a Messianic Jewish Temple for about 5 years until we switched to a Non-Denominational Christian Church. I went to a Christian School from first grade through high school where I had only 20 kids in my graduating class. I dated the principal’s son from the age of 15 and ended up getting married right after college. The marriage was a very dark time in my life. I wanted so bad to be a wife and mom, but there was nothing I could do to make it work. It was full of verbal, physical and mental abuse where I was made to feel worthless. My ex had a lot of inner demons with alcoholism and being bipolar, and I was often the punching bag in his life. He ended up coming out as gay and I was devastated. Little did I know the main reason he resented me was because he was struggling with who he was. When he came out, I felt like my life was over.
During this lonely time in my life Charlsey, who I met through my job at the time, was an outside rep who traveled, and I would see from time to time at the main office where I worked was there for me. We started talking and she was an amazing friend to me at a super dark time in my life. She listened to me and was just there for me. The next time she came into town we hung out and our friendship developed into more. She told me she wasn’t looking for anything serious though (which we laugh about to this day). That obviously changed and we did the long-distance thing for a while. We would talk and FaceTime daily. I finally moved to Arkansas where she had built a house at the time. She told me she never wanted to get married and had never seen herself having kids. I had always wanted a child, but knew I loved her and was willing to put that dream aside for her. We moved to Florida for her job about a year and a half later and my parents ended up coming down to visit us. I finally came out to my parents and confessed Charlsey was more than just a friend. My mom’s response was “oh honey, we have known for a long time. We absolutely love Charlsey. In fact, Dad views her like "the son he never had". For me coming out was easy and I am so blessed to have an amazingly supportive and loving family. Charlsey ended up proposing to me the next year on a trip to New York in Central Park in front of the Bethesda fountain, after about a 5 mile walk to the location where I complained the entire way because it was so cold. She had even asked my parents for permission, which they of course said yes. I was in shock and it was such an amazing surprise.
We got married a little over a year later, on a beach in Key West surrounded by our closest friends and family. About a year and a half later, Charlsey told me she was rethinking the whole “no kids thing” and we decided to start researching the process. We decided on an unknown donor and I got pregnant right away, when we went in on week 8, there was no heartbeat and I had miscarried. I was devastated. Getting pregnant the way we were trying, means we found out very early on, so for nearly two months we planned, told people and didn’t even think of the possibility of a miscarriage. I was heartbroken and once again, Charlsey was my rock. We started trying again when the doctor gave the all-clear and after 3 more cycles we were able to conceive our Rainbow baby in March of 2018. Our beautiful baby girl Kennedy was born on December 5th, 2018. She is the light of our lives and there is no one else I would want to be a parent with than my wife. God knew what he was doing when he brought us together. Charlsey is the best Mom, wife and truly is my best friend and makes me happier than I ever thought possible.
Charlsey’s Story…
I was the youngest of 3 raised in a southern Baptist church and family, where I went to the same church as I did school until the 4th grade in Houston. I was basically in church 6 days a week. My Mom was the secretary of the school and my dad was a truck driver that was not home very much, so we were mostly raised by my Mom.
I knew early in my childhood that I wasn’t attracted to boys, but not really girls either. Being a tomboy, I was focused on sports, so I always told myself that I just didn’t have time for a boyfriend like other girls. All my friends had boyfriends and that was just what “normal” looked like to me. I still knew it didn’t “feel” normal to me, but I started dating a boy my junior year in high school and everyone around me seemed happy. I was too to some extent. We dated for about 2 years. I went to a community college close to home for the first 3 college years. After my first 2 semesters in college, I knew that I was looking for something different, but didn’t really know what. Towards the end of our relationship his next-door neighbor asked me if I was gay one evening and I didn’t deny it. I knew it, but I think that was the first time anyone had ever asked me, and probably the first time I had ever said it out loud. Saying it “out loud” made it real. I was gay and we went our separate ways shortly thereafter.
Since I went to a community college first, before attending SFA, and was drum major in the marching band, I didn’t look to date anyone my 3rd semester at community college, I was just hanging out with friends and having a fun college experience. The 4th semester I met my first girlfriend in the band, and we were together almost 15 years. Even after being together 2 or 3 years we were still hiding that we were more than just friends to our friends and families. When I did finally come out to my Mom & Dad, I think my Mom thought it was a phase and that I’d eventually meet a nice boy in church someday. My Dad, on the other hand, accepted it and I even found out that he talked to a fellow driver about me in a positive way. My 15-year relationship came to an end when we started moving in different directions in our lives.
I had been working with a company for 13 or so years and knew Theresa for several years before we started talking on the phone frequently and then dating after my other relationship ended. I moved Theresa down to Arkansas with me and we quickly became more than friends. When I knew that I wanted to marry Theresa and had planned out how I was going to do it, I told my Mom & Dad that I had planned to propose prior to leaving on a flight to Connecticut to visit my best friend where I had planned out this elaborate proposal in Central Park.
Growing up being the youngest of 3, I always wanted my parent’s approval, and everything I did was wrapped up in making my parents proud of me. Whether it was graduating with top honors in high school or becoming the high school drum major my sophomore year, I felt like I had a bar of expectations that I needed to achieve. I seemed to always hit the bar and it was almost easy for me. This time, I knew I was not living up to the expectations for their youngest daughter. I have always felt that my Mom & Dad love me no matter what, and although this is not what they wanted for me, I knew they still loved me. There have been challenges along the way and even when we were considering going through the process to have our precious little girl, there were always the questions and concerns on how our “lifestyle” would affect a child. I would not change a thing about how I got to where I am today. I can’t even imagine where I’d be without the love and support of Theresa. Never did I think I’d be married to my wonderful wife and be so blessed with our beautiful little girl. I figured I’d be coaching a high school girl’s basketball team living by myself in an apartment somewhere. I know that God always had this planned out for me, but knew I wasn’t ready until now to be the wife and parent I am today and I’m eternally grateful for where the path he laid out for me has taken me. There is also a great feeling that both of us are together in this marriage, and that I finally have all of the love and support that I’ve always craved while being my genuine self.
